Down the hatch!

I began my very first day of teaching by accidentally swallowing a massive mosquito. Down here in The South, we take great pride in smacking the "little" buggers flat in midair. Which is exactly what I did at breakfast- only I was unable to locate the body afterward. Oh, well. Moments later, I downed my last gulp of hot tea. Oops. Found it! My teaching career was off to a fantastic start!
And it got even better. By lunchtime, I had been abandoned in an empty field by a fellow teacher (don't ask), went to the bathroom and couldn't find my way back to my classroom (the janitor now thinks I'm truly brilliant) and got called (for the first time ever!) a cracker. By a second grader. I was speechless.
Internal Dialogue: Excuse me? Did he really just call me that? What year is this? Does he even know what that means? Do I? When will Ashton jump out?
And my pithy, mature, teacherly response? "That's Ms. Cracker to you."
And off we go!